Life makes love look hard

Here I sit. Still in the hospital five days later, with an indefinite stay stretched before me. I am bored, I miss my children desperately, and I am getting a little depressed. All around me I can hear the sounds of other moms having their babies, those sweet newborn cries penetrating the walls. Then I hear the sound of those other women packing up, off to start their adventures with their new family. All the while I wait.

We've had tremendous support from family and friends and Steve has been so good to me. He is taking such good care of me when he isn't working and he is trying so hard to make this as easy on me as possible.

But like most things in life, this is something I carry alone. Pregnancy trials can really only be borne by the mother. This is both the gift and the burden of the mothers role. I get to have a joy about this little girl that no one else can totally share in, as much as they will love and adore her. The flip side is I get trials that no one else can share in either. The best intentioned, most well meaning people in the world can't take one ounce of this from me.

Moments like this I am reminded of grace. I am reminded that I am not alone. That I have a friend that is closer than a brother, an ultimate Healer, a Comforter, and that all of this is according to a plan. I don't have to understand the plan, I don't even have to like it, I just have to have faith and obedience. And in that I am reminded that no matter how isolated or lost I feel, I have never been truly alone.