Days Like This

Today I am tired. I woke up at 3 am and could not go back to sleep to save my life. I tried everything: counting sheep, counting backwards, yoga breathing, yoga relaxation tricks, drinks of water, getting one of the children in bed with me to snuggle, etc. Nothing worked. Now, pretty much everyone that reads this blog knows me and they know that sleep is essential to my "good nature". It is one thing I fear about having a newborn. In our house, the expression is "If mama ain't sleeping, ain't nobody happy." Sad, but true.

Finally, I fell back asleep after five, only to oversleep til 7:20. Well, then I was awakened by Luke, the child I put in my bed, kicking me in the face. Nice wake up. Just as well, cause then Steve bursts in, shouting "Luke doesn't have any clean PE shirts! Don't you ever do laundry?" Nice. As a matter of fact, I do the laundry. However, this time, Luke spent the night at his grandparents and left wearing one of his two PE shirts. It never came out of his overnight bag, so it did not get washed. The first one was still dirty from Monday and the three new shirts I ordered for this year are so big that they are absurd and can't be worn. (Until he's 12 or something. Seriously, a small should not fit a baby rhino.) So, I stumble from bed, sleep deprived, kicked in the head, bleary eyed and growing a human to hand wash a shirt for my child. So that I can then get a shower and get ready to go teach preschool for five hours.

Fifteen three year olds. 9 boys. The first real, full, week of preschool. 90% have never attended preschool before. Most have never really left their mommies before. Need I say more? I love them to bits, but right now is not the time to be sleep deprived. I need my A-game every day. They are sweet, fun, energetic, and you better stay on your toes.

Tired. I say that a lot don't I?

Some days are hard. I try to remember that these are little things, small trivial things that don't really matter. Right now I feel like I can't do a very good job at anything. My parenting is a little lax, my laundry apparently isn't up to the house standard, and I stay nauseated and tired. Daily I remind myself that Speck is an answer to prayer. That God is faithful and will never leave me. But today, I am holding tight to the scripture that says "Come to me all who are weary and burdened" (Matt 11:28). Boy, I know my burdens are small, but right now they make me tired. (That word again!) I am so glad that God knew there would be days like this.