I do not walk alone

I do not walk alone
Faith, family, friends
They lift me up,
They hold my hand,
They feed my soul.

Children may get sick
Parents will pass on
Husbands may lose jobs
But I will not walk alone

My heart may break
My heart will rejoice
Through it all, good and bad
I do not walk alone

Faith to give hope everlasting
Dreams of an eternal life
Where streets are paved with gold
And all sorrow will end, amen

Family to give focus to my days
Joy to my nights
Promises of a better tomorrow
A future far removed from my past

Friends to give laughter
Support, fellowship, camraderie
Drinks on happy days, hugs on sad
Always with an understanding ear, a caring heart

Life will have joy and it will have pain
Tomorrows are uncertain while Heaven awaits
But through it all, I will not despair
One breath away, you are always there
And I do not walk alone

Bearing Witness

I am a Christian. That is the most important thing about me, above being Steve's wife and the mother of Nicholas and Luke. God created me and He has my first loyalty and devotion. That love and devotion is demanded scripturally and I give it freely and willingly.

The number one goal for Christians, above loving Christ first and foremost, is the Great Commission. We are told to "go and tell" others about Jesus and about His wonderful love. I teach Sunday school and VBS. I am active in outreach and missions and my heart is full of empathy and faith. I honestly try to do my part to obey this command. With that said, I fail as a Christian in the places that I have the most ability to spread His word...with family and with close friends.

My family and close friends are the ones that get to see the "real" me. Not "Sunday school teacher Brandy" or "PTO Brandy" or "good Baptist Brandy", but the real Brandy. The one that has a temper and a sarcastic disposition; the one that says bad words when she is stressed and yells at her children when they won't stop fighting; the one that gossips and can be very selfish. (Sheesh. Boy does it look bad written out like that!)

I have family and friends that are not saved. They are not believers for many reasons, but one of them is probably me. I try and try to do my best all the time, for all people (but mostly out of obedience to Christ), but I am human and I fail. My husband is a believer and he loves me and knows my heart in spite of my failings, but what of the others? I am not always bad, but the moments when I do something out of line with what my faith asks of me, boy, do I feel terrible about it later. The fruit of the spirit should pour out of me, especially with my loved ones.

The old expression is that knowing you have a problem is the first step to resolving it. So, I am going to work very hard on this problem. And I am going to continue to be so grateful that my only job is to bear witness because Someone much more amazing than I could ever hope to be already bore the cross.

My weekend in pictures

And so we commence

Just because I love it ....

No one said it would be easy

Steve, jumping for joy. I would put my own picture on here
doing exactly that, but I don't do things like that. :-)

Tomorrow is the BIG day! Finally, after an insane number of years in school, going full time, part time, and not at all, I will have my chance to put on ugly black polyester, mortarboard, and heels and GRADUATE!!! Over the past few months I have been exhausted, elated, and emotional about this day. School is what I know. It is safe, familiar, like a well-loved blankie. It is the place I go to be Brandy. No one there has a clue who "Steve" is or "the boys". If they sit anywhere near me, they usually learn something about those people, but they still see me, the individual. School has been the perfect complement to being a busy stay-home mom. What am I going to do when it is over?

A lot of people have asked me that question....what am I going to do with this degree? What is the point? Well, not one single relative of mine has ever graduated from college. A lot of my family didn't graduate from high school. So this degree, it is for me. It is so I can say "I did it!" And some of it is for my relatives, so they can say "she did it!" A lot of it is for my boys, nephews, nieces, cousins, etc. so they can say "I can do it too!"

So, tomorrow, in spite of the weather causing my graduation to be pushed back and guests traveling from out of town confronting travel issues, regardless of relatives with issues with pets and parents and flights to catch....I will be graduating! The day may not be the perfect day I had in my mind, but like my sweet friend Nancy said to me "no one said it would be easy." And no matter what, parties and planes aside, I can say I did it.

The Middle Place

I just finished Kelly Corrigan's book, The Middle Place. It is the wonderful true story of this amazing young mother, wife, daughter, and breast cancer survivor. You should pick it up to read; I couldn't put it down.


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Mama told me there'd be days like this...

I live my life by just a few basic, simple rules. I totally understand that everyone is different and what works for me won't work for everyone. However, here are my personal guidelines:

1 - Don't do something you will be ashamed of. Everyone makes mistakes, but if you are ashamed to admit you did something, you probably shouldn't have done it.

2- It is more important to be kind than to be right.

3- Only treat others in a manner that allows you to rest easy at night. We cannot control how other people behave, but we can control how we behave. And even when people don't deserve it, deal with them in a way that you don't feel one ounce of regret or shame about your own behavior.

4- Other people have to be responsible for their own choices. I cannot save the world, nor am I responsible for it.

5- Love God and think in every situation how Jesus would want you to behave. While I am hardly a paragon of this, I really do my best to love others and care for them as Jesus commanded that we do.

6- Even when you disagree with someone, treat them with respect and courtesy. It is the adult thing to do.

Today I have been caught in a crossfire between two different groups/organizations that I belong to. I had nothing to do with why these groups were upset; I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and I caught abuse on both ends. Not only am I hurt, but I am angry. Someone that I considered to be a good friend of mine actually yelled at me over things that I have no control over, had no part of, and did not participate in. Driving home, shaking with tears and confusion, I replayed the conversation in my mind. Where did it all go wrong?

I probably won't ever understand what exactly happened today and what role I played...however, I am saying a prayer, remembering my own personal guidelines, and tucking into bed with my sweet husband and children. That is enough for me.

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

I love Christmas! It is such a wonderful time to reconnect with family and friends, to really focus on our Savior, and to create memories that we will cherish for a lifetime. This past week we've been doing a little bit of all three. On Thursday, Nicholas made cookies for the Harrisburg Fire Department. He is a cub scout and after earning his Bobcat badge, he was supposed to do a good deed before he put it onto his uniform. So, he made a big batch of snickerdoodles, our favorite Christmas cookie, and after only eating one cookie for himself (well, you have to taste them to make sure they are good!) he took the rest to the fire department. Unfortunately, they were out on a call, but the wonderful lady working the desk said she would make sure they got them.


Then on Friday we were going to take the children to the Christmas tree lighting in Harrisburg. But poor Luke had a terrible sinus infection that he has been battling and his cough sounded so awful we asked the boys if they would like to put up the Christmas tree and stay in. So, we did our own tree lighting instead. It was Nicholas' year to put on the star and he was so proud. In two years when it's his turn again, he is going to have to use a ladder; I don't know if Steve will be able to lift him up. He is getting so big!

Saturday the boys went to Lowe's and built gingerbread houses. This was amazing for me because they had all the fun of hammering and nailing with a great finished product and we did not have to spend four hours trying to make one out of candy. I am not crafty and I never like how they turn out. Plus I spend most of my time trying to get the kids to stop eating the candy.

Sunday we had church. I love church at Christmastime. It is beautifully decorated and everyone is feeling festive, but reverent. I love teaching the birth of our Savior to my class of 4's. Even if my own child didn't remember the lesson two hours later at lunch. Oh well. My prayer is that seeds are planted, even if it does take a while for them to take root. :-)

Then we spent Sunday decorating the outside of the house. We put lights on the house for the first time ever. Nicholas had so much fun helping his Daddy and Pawpaw put on the lights. Luke was too small this year, so he helped Mommy with some other things.


And after spending hours in the cold we came in to hot chocolate, warm Christmas cookies, and one of our favorite movies, A Christmas Story, which my boys call "Ralphie's Christmas".



Not to be too cliched, but days like today are why "it's the most wonderful time of the year!"

Wordless Wednesday

my cutie - patootie nephew in the tub